


Heat

by gouguruheddo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crying, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 15:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8629525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gouguruheddo/pseuds/gouguruheddo
Summary: It wasn’t about love; it was never about love. The two held respect for each other, but they could never love. It was about relieving pent up frustrations as human beings. It was about the release. So when Levi mashed their lips together, it wasn’t to feel a butterfly of happiness flutter in his chest, or to show some kind of affection to his superior. It was so he could assert the only control he felt he had on his situation. He trusted Erwin more than any human being in the world--certainly more than he trusted himself. But they were dead now, and he didn’t know what to do, so he pressed his finger into Erwin’s chin, forcing the taller man’s mouth open in order to dip his tongue in. Because that would do. That would have to do.





	

Erwin always requested Levi’s presence on nights that accompanied particularly difficult days. It was the only way he could get Levi to rest for more than a few hours, let alone being the only time he would sleep in a bed. Erwin understood the habit. Sleeping too much was a waste of time--a waste of a life that you weren’t sure how long would last. And sleeping in a bed just made you all that more vulnerable. He had been offering invitations for years, a luxury only the strong seemed to wield, and Levi always accepted. Whether it was out of a sense of duty or a sense of companionship, Erwin was still unsure of at times.

The knock came softly. It was sometime past midnight, and Erwin had been sitting at the desk in his bedroom finishing off paperwork alongside writing the occasional letter to friends he had made across the walls. He muttered a greeting, and continued to write as he heard the door creak open behind him and latch closed shortly after. Several words scrawled later, and his visitor had yet to make himself known. Moving his arm to drape over the back of his chair, Erwin turned to face Levi. “Good evening, Levi.”

There was a danger on Levi’s face, the shadow of hell had smoldered his eyes, and Erwin was afraid they could set the entire room ablaze. Levi fingered the cravat around his neck until it came loose, his body lurching forward with a defiant purpose. Eyes narrowed, he spat out his words, venomous, tight, and quiet. “Why do you fuck me like a woman?”

Erwin raised an eyebrow, his hand gripping his chair. “Excuse me?”

Levi had already tossed aside his uniform jacket and was working on unbuckling his harness, his eyes still targeted on Erwin’s. Despite his height, Levi had a way of making Erwin feel small at times. “ _ Why _ do you  _ fuck me _ like a  _ woman _ ?”

Lowering his eyes, Erwin tried to think of a response. “I would never.”

“But you  _ do _ .” Levi had made it to him, the upper half of his harness hanging limp around his waist… Hanging like Gunther did, sliced nearly in half from his anchors. His hands found Erwin’s neck, and he pressed his thumbs hard into the soft spot under his jaw. Erwin didn’t move, nor did he look up at Levi. “So  _ don’t _ . Fuck me like you’re fucking a man. Fuck me like I  _ deserve _ to be fucked.” His hands forced Erwin’s chin up to look at him. The gray of his eyes seemed to be swirling like magma around dilated pupils, and the whites were bloodshot. “ _ Now _ .”

It wasn’t about love; it was never about love. The two held respect for each other, but they could never  _ love _ . It was about relieving pent up frustrations as human beings. It was about the release. So when Levi mashed their lips together, it wasn’t to feel a butterfly of happiness flutter in his chest, or to show some kind of affection to his superior. It was so he could assert the only control he felt he had on his situation. He trusted Erwin more than any human being in the world--certainly more than he trusted himself. But they were dead now, and he didn’t know what to do, so he pressed his finger into Erwin’s chin, forcing the taller man’s mouth open in order to dip his tongue in. Because that would do. That would have to do.

Levi slid into Erwin’s lap, his legs hanging on either side of Erwin’s thighs, and his butt settling to sit on the chair between his commander’s legs. His fingers worked deftly at the buttons on his own shirt, as his mouth moved furiously against Erwin’s, his lips closing and tongue lapping and teeth biting at the opportune times. Through it all, Levi managed to get his shirt off, his bare chest falling flat against Erwin’s clothed one as the commander’s arms encircled him. Levi’s hands grappled Erwin’s face, his back arching as he breathed heavily into the frantic kiss, his need pressing hard against the other’s stomach.

Eyes dark, half lidded, and laced with fierce need, Levi moved one hand to tangle tightly in Erwin’s hair. Eld and him could have been brothers--they both had hair golden like buttercups. He tugged the hair back, forcing Erwin’s head to tilt toward the ceiling and exposing his neck. Levi bit the side of his neck, so hard it was sure to bruise, until Erwin moved his hands up to detach the man from his jugular. “Levi, I’m bringing us to bed.” His tone was even, though a little breathy as his arousal heightened.

Levi wrapped his arms around Erwin’s neck, switching to bite the other side of his partner’s neck. “About fucking time.” His lips grazed the red skin, both his hands now tightly grasping onto Erwin’s hair. They rose out of the chair, Levi’s legs wrapped around Erwin’s waist, and they moved awkwardly and hastily to the bed. Erwin dropped him on the bed, taking the lead in kissing, and held his hands down heavily on Levi’s bare shoulders.

Levi squirmed, breaking his mouth free to protest, “Stop it, you shithead. Just  _ fuck _ me!” He slammed a fist down on Erwin’s shoulder blade, and did so again when he was forced to continue the kiss. His hips wiggled, and he tried to move his hands down to start to unbuckle his pants, but Erwin had him pinned against the bed with his body, and his lips were so tender and needy.

It made Levi even more furious.

“I don’t need this.” Levi growled in a low rumble. The vibration tickled Erwin’s chest.

“I disagree.”

“Let me take my pants off.”

Erwin kissed his cheek, drawing out another protest from the captain. The bigger man shifted his weight slightly, allowing Levi to snake his hands down and to start unlatching the constraining materials around his waist. Erwin kissed along Levi’s cheek, and let the back of his knuckle play along the side of Levi’s sweaty neck. He smiled into skin as he waited for Levi to finish undressing. “Do you need help?” He left another kiss, much to Levi’s discomfort.

“Get your shit off too, idiot.”

It was much easier to undress when they weren’t latched together, though Levi didn’t let Erwin finish taking off his shirt. The bottom half was the part that was providing the relief. He tugged on the bolo around his commander’s neck and pulled him down ontop of him. “I want you in me.” There was a flush across his cheeks, across his whole body, his heart racing as he felt the heat from his partner all around him. Erwin dropped his mouth open to lube up some of his fingers, but Levi grabbed his wrist and glared impatiently at him. “None of that girl shit. I don’t need it.”

“Levi,” Erwin started, freeing his wrists and licking a long trail up three of his fingers. Levi gave him a disgusted face. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Levi snorted. “Afraid of hurting me  _ here _ ?”

Erwin moved his hand down between Levi’s legs. “This is different.” He pressed a finger against Levi’s entrance, and the man hissed, his hands slapping up to pull Erwin closer.

“How?” It came out like a moan.

“If you can’t see that there is a difference…”

“You’re so infuriating.”

Erwin chuckled as he pressed a digit in. “But if you want me to ‘fuck you like a man’…” Another digit. “Like the man you  _ are _ …” And the last. “Like ‘Humanity’s Strongest’... I will.” Although he was doing what he could to stretch out Levi, he was still being rougher than usual. He had to suppress the alarms in his head that told him to slow down--he knew what Levi was doing, and what he needed. And he cared enough about his captain to give it to him.

Levi’s face was scrunched up, and he couldn’t help but let out soft whimpers behind a bitten lip. With his other hand, Erwin caressed his lover’s cheeks between his thumb and forefinger. “But you can’t hold back  _ anything _ . Or...” Levi’s face reddened as he let out a drawn out moan, as if the air had been stabbed out of him. In a way, it had. Erwin smiled down at him, moving his fingers in and out of Levi, his voice a deep purr, “ _ Good _ .”

“P…  _ Do it _ .” With a soft kiss that Levi almost evaded, Erwin pat Levi’s sides to signal him to turn over. As he did, Erwin grabbed hold of Levi’s hips and hiked them up to meet his cock, leaving Levi to scramble briefly to get a hold of his barrings. “Shit.” There was little foreplay. He felt Erwin enter him, dry and barely stretched, a shout of surprise escaping him as it happened. And with a rough thrust, he was completely filled--his legs and arms wobbling under him as he cried out, the pain so outstanding that his vision speckled black and a bit of drool dripped onto the bed sheets below him. His face planted onto the bed when his arms gave out, and his knees quaked as Erwin pulled out to the tip to slam roughly back into him.

It was hot. Like a fire running up from Levi’s back and through his spine, and he wondered if this is what Oruo felt like when he hit the forest floor. He clenched his eyes shut, and his mouth moved against words he had forgotten how to say, and saliva pooled at the corners of his mouth as the linens bunched up and gathered against his teeth. It was so fucking hot, like the blood of a titan on his skin, and all he wanted to do was to be burned up with it.

Erwin grabbed one of Levi’s arms and hoisted it up behind his back, his upper body rising from the bed as he did so. Then came his other arm. The gasp that escaped Levi was genuine, the control the commander had over him made him delusional. Erwin held onto both of the captain’s elbows, pulling his ass back to meet his cock, rewarding the commander with more cries of affirmation.

It scorched and burned up everything inside of Levi, until his throat was dry from breathing and moaning so hard. Or maybe it was from having to see so many faces that day for the last time. Having to leave them behind without proper burials. He found himself wishing that his eyes were burning from the smell of burning flesh, not because of the absence of it. He rocked hard against Erwin, until the pain teetered on pleasure, and he felt coolness drip from the corner of his eyes to the tip of his chin.

“Harder!” Levi commanded, his voice short and hoarse and pained. The muscles in his back were tense as he rammed his ass back to meet Erwin. The grip on his elbows tightened, and Erwin quickened his pace. Each thrust hit his prostate, and the sounds he made were choked sobbing moans. If he had any sense he would have been disgusted with himself, but Erwin was doing his job. He was making him forget... No, he was making him  _ feel _ . “Fas-... I’m going to--”

Erwin’s fingers moved along the inside of Levi’s elbows, and he purred his order through a raspy, lusty voice. “Come.”

And Levi followed the order, as he always did, as he always would. The man that he would follow into hell, not because he  _ had _ to, but because he  _ wanted _ to, ordering him to release his load across a bed that was not his own, muttering a name that did not belong to him, for reasons he wasn’t even entirely sure of anymore. He grunted, long and hard, his breathing labored, and sweat from his hair mixing with the tears on his face. He was salty and smelly and hot, so damn hot, and he hurt. But not from his ass or from his arms or his knees… His chest hurt, and it heaved, and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Fi… Finish…” Levi said, his body being lowered gently back to the bed.

“I’ve had enough fun,” Erwin said, simply.

“F… Fuck you…” Levi’s face was pressed into the bedsheets, muffled and drained and maybe a little bit broken. “I… I need you to finish.” It was quiet, and a little hesitant, “Please.”

Erwin stayed inside of him for a little while longer, bending his body over his lover’s back and kissing lightly along the purple bruises printed permanently on his skin from their military harnesses. “I want to see you.”

“No.”

“Levi…” Erwin ran a finger along the tense muscles of Levi’s back, until they started to relax one by one. He moved his hips absently, taking more attention on wishing away scars from a war that would never end with kisses that could never heal. “Please.”

With a grunt, Levi released himself of Erwin, both of them protesting slightly. His body fell sideways onto the bed, and he immediately brought his forearms up to cover his face. Rolling onto his back, he complained absently about laying in his own cum.

Erwin gently grabbed Levi’s wrists and pulled them toward his face, kissing along the fingers until they too relaxed. “Don’t hide.” He looked down at Levi, the man’s face red and wet, but most surprisingly, full of emotions Erwin had only ever interpreted and never seen. “You’re… Beautiful.” The commander blushed a little from his lack of censorship, and expected Levi to make a swing at him.

But it didn’t come.

Instead, Levi leaned up and wrapped his arms tightly around Erwin’s neck, and Erwin could feel new tears trailing down against his skin. “Just finish yourself, will you?” He breathed in, the coolness sending a shiver across Erwin’s skin. “Before I lose you too.”

It was slow and careful, and some would even say it was loving, if they dared to call anything they had ‘love’. Erwin gently raised Levi’s hips and positioned himself again, and slowly he pushed himself in. “Are you ok?”

“Y… Yeah.”

Erwin pushed in further, the heat consuming them both, and Levi took Erwin’s mouth with his, finding a hunger he had never felt before. He moved against his commander, moaning soft mewls with each thrust, and he felt like he would be able to come again if he was allowed to. Erwin’s weight on him, his commander’s hands caressing his temples and trailing softly down his neck. His lips, tender and needy, somehow worshipping his skin, his body, between each thrust.

It didn’t take long. Fingernails raking across skin and hair tangled within fists, Erwin came inside of Levi, breathless, until he was heaving. His shirt was soaked with sweat, even worse than after a training session, and he collapsed to the side of Levi on the bed. They laid in silence until Erwin’s breathing returned to normal, in which the taller man took to wrapping the captain in his arms. Levi nestled into Erwin’s chest, his hands pressed up to his chin as he wiped away the foreign remains of liquid from his face.

“Petra… Everybody… I could have saved them.” Levi’s voice was so quiet he could barely hear it over the heartbeat thrumming in his ears. “The Female Titan was intelligent… I…”

“We had no idea she would be there.” Erwin held him closer until Levi could hear his heartbeat too. “You taught them well, Levi. They fought bravely and with unrivaled strength. You should be proud.”

“But did they die with regrets… I wonder…”

“Most men do.” Erwin said softly. “But I doubt they regret their choices today. You shouldn’t either.”

“I hope they knew,” Levi started, raising his head to look into Erwin’s eyes. They were so clear, and right now, so gentle. In battle, he really was a different man. “How much good they did.”

“They did. I promise.”

They kissed. And even though Levi complained quietly about being dirty, they both still crawled under the covers, and Levi allowed himself to be engulfed in Erwin’s arms. He allowed himself to close his eyes and sleep in a bed until sunrise. Erwin stayed awake, listening to Levi breathing until his eyes could no longer stay open either. In Erwin’s bed they slept away the day of lost lives and unpredictability. A soldier’s life. And they both dreamed of a tomorrow where their lives didn’t end.


End file.
